Monday, 23 January 2017

What Really Is Depression?

Hey Lovelies.

As i'm sure you're aware if you've read my blog for a while, i've already done a post about mental illness however a lot of that was just the clinical medical side of it and most blog posts i read about depression is the same, however i really wanted to just list a few things i experience as i'm sure many other people will, things that aren't really understood or talked about much when the topic of conversation arises. 

To me depression is:
  • Not always having the energy to take care of your personal hygiene.
  • Feeling as though no body loves or cares about you even though you are constantly reassured that they do.
  • Knowing that this feeling has passed before but having little faith that it will pass this time
  • Being afraid that one day you'll wake up and have lost any part of you that some how finds the strength to keep on living.
  • Losing interest in things you once loved.
  • Finding it extremely hard to maintain strong relationships with the people closest to you.
  • Having little to no motivation to actually get out of bed in the morning
  • Praying for the day to be over as soon as its begun so that you can just get back into bed and sleep again.
  • The constant fear of losing control and harming yourself or even worse attempting to end your own life.
  • Wanting to do the tasks you've set yourself, knowing that if you actually do them you'll feel a lot better but not being able to find the strength to do them.
  • Knowing you're not looking for sympathy but having it thrown at you from every direction any way.
  • People not understanding that there's a difference between how you behave when your mental illness is taking control and when you're having a good day. 
  • People not understanding that the way you behave isn't you, its your mental illness.
There are so many things that are involved living with depression. It's not just feeling sad. Sadness and a mental illness are two completely different things. 

Something i also wanted to mention was people who throw the term depression around, like it doesn't have the weight it does held behind it. When you're having a bad day or you're feeling a little down it doesn't mean you're depressed. Please be careful when you throw terms around.

Please know that all the things i've listed above are normal for someone dealing with depression. It's a hard illness to live with and people who don't live with it won't truly understand. You are not alone. There's so many people out there dealing with this these days, more than there ever have been before. Talk to someone, its not easy i know that but it does get easier once you've taken that first step to opening up. See a counsellor, or even talk to a friend. If you feel you have no one you can reach out to then you can always come and speak to me. Sometimes it does feel easier to talk to a stranger. 

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