Monday, 13 February 2017

50 Shades Of Abuse

Hello lovelies
Welcome back to my blog.

This is a post i've been slightly anxious and nervous to post, however i feel like it's an important topic to discuss especially as there will be a lot of impressionable people going to see this film over the Valentines period.

We've all heard of the books, it was a huge phenomenon when the books were released, everyone was reading them, not just the 'horny mums'. I actually did buy all the books as i'm one to read of recommendations of people i know and with it being such a huge talked about thing i decided i'd give it a read. I regret endorsing this series and spending my own money doing so.  

Eventually we got news that the book series was going to be made into films and i honestly let out the biggest sigh ever. A lot more people were now drawn into this story of romance (which off course it isn't at all).

Okay, so lets get onto the reasons why i and many other people don't support the franchise. The whole story romanticises abusive and controlling relationships, and with that it basically laughs in the face of everyone who has ever been in an abusive relationship. Abuse survivors are seeing their nightmare repackaged as romance and it's honestly so unsettling. No one should go through the trauma of being controlled and abused by someone they love, someone who is supposed to love them back, and for the movie industry to take on a series which focuses around this is disheartening. 

Of course there's many films out there which tackle the issue but for the most part they handle it carefully and try to show a true portrayal of what people who go through whilst being involved in an abusive relationship, however 50 shades doesn't do that. 

Christian Grey is a wealthy successful man in a nice suit, lets just think about that for a second, lets switch it up, if the character was a jobless man with no money, living off the government and having every thing paid for him, people would call this film out as it is, bur because of the character people like to ignore the issues with the film. 

The thing that makes me most uncomfortable is i've seen people standing up and talking out against domestic abuse then in the next breath talking about how excited they are to see the second film in the series. It makes me feel uneasy. 

Statistics actually showed that following the release of the first film; abuse cases went up hugely. People are watching this film and seeing the behaviours and thinking that it's okay to behave that way.

The Fifty Shades Of Grey series is an embarrassment to the BDSM community. It is not a true portrayal of what BDSM is. 

Christian Grey isolates her, he is controlling, intimidating and possessive, all of which are traits that abusive partners carry. The consent and persuasion in the film is basically telling people that if someone tells you no, its okay because if you continuously ask you'll get what you want eventually, and usually that's just so their partner can get you off their back. It's always okay to say NO, No means no, it does not mean persuade me. 

He also stalks Anastasia, which obviously is something that should be taken seriously and not be accepted. If someone is repeatedly turning up to wherever you are without you inviting them or knowing about it, it's stalking, it's not just someone hiding behind the bushes, or being unseen. 

The whole book/film franchise normalises behaviour which many people go through on a daily basis in real life, it's living hell for them. Some manage to escape and some sadly don't, resulting in forever being trapped in a life which no one deserves to be in or even worse death. 

Please really do think about it when you debate going to watch the film. Spend the money you would on seeing the film by donating to charities which help domestic abuse survivors, or shelters.